femme
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ y a y a R y k a a;
Siti Shahia ;290595 ;shahFritzie♥
I do my thing and you do yours. i am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. love me or hate me, deal with it (:
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Saturday, January 14, 2012@14.1.12
do you ever came across a feeling whereby someone trying their hard to bring you down and act like as if they have never did anything wrong when the fact is you know almost everything about them in their past and worse still their past is even more uglier and darker than yours? yeah, that feeling. sister, it's becus that all this while i respected you, i fucken shut my mouth and willing not to say any single shit about you. but i think you are getting on my nerves. i never thought of even telling mum or dad about you and make you look bad on them. no i never did once do that. i know you are on a changing stage but that doesn't mean you can criticize me or bring me down as and when you wish. you were my all, the one i used to be close to, talk everything to but now there's no more all this. we often fight over a littliest thing and i can see that we are drifting apart. we did talk well eversince you started your 'changing' stage. i don't care all that but i just hate how you are now. i know im the small one in this house, i need that respect too. i know everyone in this house wants the respect. eventhough im the small one and still a kid in your eyes, i still have feelings. you were in my stage before but now not anymore that's why you criticize me every now and than. i'm pretty sure when you were in my stage, in a teenager life stage - growin up stage, people tried to bring you down too right. bedek kalau tak pernah. so yeah, did you still remember the feeling of what you get last time? if yes good but if you don't too bad may allah guide you through everything you do, you know Allah hates their slaves whom criticize others. yes, i cant say all this i know where i am standing, yes im still young and still learning but get this straight, atleast my past, present is cleaner than your past. and i hope in future your past won't touch my future. you know sometimes being the youngest one in the family can lead you to unwanted depression. even if we are in the wrong we still hafta apologize to the old ones but when they are in the wrong? we just hafta keep our fucken mouth shut. remember okay, i'm reaching 17 and still have alot of things to be learn.
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Wednesday, November 30, 2011@30.11.11
I wish you gonna read what i have written here on this new month on 1am. I cant really get myself to sleep. I always think of everything about you, what you have said to me today, yesterday and the days which has passed. As each day passes by, i just feel like i'm unappreciated. You have never get involve in any topic with what i talk to you. We seldom talk, text and meet each other. You have never wanted to listen to what i have to say. Living each day with full of heart pains and fake smiles is so not me. I have never keep whats inside me before until i met you. Cus whenever I'm trying hard not to have a tiff with you whenever i tried having heart to heart talk with you, you gonna think differently, get mad at me just like that and whenever i say something about you, you take it lightly or i often feels that you don't have the energy to entertain me. After this 13 months, everything about us is dying slowly. You don't know how much i miss how we used to be, worse still, i miss the old you. I just dont know how to let out this feelings to you when everytime i tried to do that you will start to be grumpy. I dont know what went wrong. I tried my best to be the best that i could for you but as each day passes by, i realize that everything about you and us is dying slowly. Its true when theres a saying to "no matter how much you love that someone , you still have to let them go" and whats hurts the most is when this saying is kinda true "its better to let go when holding on is much painful than letting go" i know today afternoon im meeting you up and hopefully this time round it works for me to talk things out, pour my feelings out. Say what i wanna say all this while. I have never bottle up this feeling this much. And what if one day i can't stand everything that i'm facing and on the urge of making foolish decision and still my heart isnt ready for any situation? Like facing the feeling at rock bottom. And falling so hard cus the hole you held for so long gets deeper. Alright. I think this is it. Im gonna empty my mind and have a giod sleep cus tomorrow for sure im gonna use a lot of energy. Live each day with full of happiness. May god bless you all. (:
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Friday, November 18, 2011@18.11.11
Boyfriend showed me his enlistment notice. He brought it just to show it to me. How cute. Alhamdulillah. Thats what you really want right? To get into the police category. Im glad to see you happy with what you get. Amin<3 cheyhhhh abang police coming in february lahh. Heheh. Awww im gonna see you botak soon baby. :p say goodbye to your beloved hair okhaii. Jahatnyaa aku. Heee. K bai. Goodmornight readers <3
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Thursday, November 17, 2011@17.11.11
Hi people. Long time no update. And now is 12.02 am. I want to sleep. Cus i feel so shagged n sleepy. Just got back from work like 1hr ago. What i have got to say now is that, i cant wait for december to arrive ;) will update more okay. Mwa mwa!
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Thursday, November 03, 2011@3.11.11
Sometimes, we meet certain people in our life without realizing how much they would mean to us later, maybe it’s the way they make you feel or the way they put a smile on your face whenever you talk to them, maybe it’s a feeling that you can’t exactly put into words, but you know you like this feeling and it’s something you don’t want to lose. So with that being said, This person shouldn’t be taken for granted, If they are there for you when you need them and they make you happy then let them know how much they mean to you, be there for them just like they are there for you. Let them know that you care about them by checking up on them from time to time to see how they are doing or to make sure they are okay. If they are putting in the effort and making time just to talk to you, then I advise you to do the same and not leave them hanging by themselves. They mean something to you, so let them know that and show them that at the same time. Be that one person that they can turn to when they feel sad, be that ear that listens to them when no one else will, be the shoulder that they can cry on when they need it the most, Just be the one they can turn to whenever they need someone <3
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